REAL TESTIMONIES OF GOD'S LOVE, GRACE, POWER AND HEALING Where the Spirit of the Lord abounds - people get free!! Please send in your testimonies so we can encourage each other with the things the Lord has done in individual lives, families and beyond. I am delighted to be able to share with you the testimony of Stephen Tillia, a brother in Christ from America. May the Lord bless you Stephen for sharing your story of new life in Christ. Stephen's book, 'To Live Is Christ' is our August Book Club choice. Please click on 'Book Club' on the menu to get more details. ***************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** It's been over thirty one years but I still remember the night that I came to really realize the condition of my life. I was twelve years old and sitting in the third row pew on the left side of the church at Bethel Baptist Church. The baptismal was right in front of me and Pastor James Hockenberry was at the pulpit. I had grown up in the church and I knew the verses about sin and how the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord, yet this Wednesday night was different. He was preaching how our sins are not just against other people but against God. One lie was not just offending my mother but offending God. He spoke of how we sin against God just by not putting Him first in our lives. It was for this reason that Christ died on the cross, because that was the penalty for sin. I finally understood the true gravity of my sins and how they offended God and not man. Tears were running down my face. He then spoke of Christ's resurrection and how His defeating death gave us eternal life, which was the second part of the promise. As soon as he finished and the altar call made I quickly made my way to the altar. Over the next several days I witnessed to everyone I knew. I didn't want anyone I loved to be left behind if Jesus came at anytime. After graduation I went to work at Word of Life Youth Camp located in Schroon Lake New York. I worked with the horses and was able to witness to the youth using them. At the end of summer I excitedly entered college there. The year was remarkable meeting some of the great men of God at the time. We went to Chicago, staying at the Pacific Garden Mission, spent the week preaching on the streets, subways and projects. I saw the hand of God working in so many ways yet upon leaving college and slowly losing contact with my friends from college I allowed the worldly teens from my youth group lead me astray. Over the next several years I spent my time flip flopping between God and the world, feeling guilt for not living my life completely for Him. When I bought the company I worked for in 1999 I operated it by God’s principals and watched it flourish. The growth was amazing and soon pride crept in and it became what I had accomplished and not God. 1 year later I was voted out by my partners having given away over 50% of the company without realizing it. I quickly started a new corporation and soon became involved with a charity event that gave me experience in the music and television industry . I had always had a desire to start a youth ranch and developed the concept and put into action the marketing to several county school boards, working with their suspension programs to minister to those children at the ranch and also work with their parents. We put money down on 840 acres in Citrus county Fl. We had promises of donations pouring in from everywhere for the building and development of it. The program consisted of Biblical principals yet school systems were going for it. The problem was that on the other side I was now mixing with politicians, sports figures, actors, musicians and the likes. My business was signing contracts and I was developing programs for the insurance industry that were turning heads. Soon it became all about me once again and then it all came crashing down only this time I lost everything including my reputation. Flat broke with no friends now I spent a couple of weeks on the streets until getting a hold of one of my old horse friends in Hudson Fl. I stayed with them until leaving Florida in 03, three months later. While flat broke I was still not humbled. I had been a millionaire and knew I could do it again. I had started several new businesses and watched them make money in a short time and then I would take a bigger risk. I finally ended up in Nashville working in the music industry as a independent record label, video producer, distributor and promoter. Business was going good. We booked a 150 city tour for an indie artist, I wrote, produced and directed his video using a well known video actress in Nashville. We put everything into him and after the first show he canceled the entire tour, stole the video footage and left us in the parking lot of the motel. My partner went back to PA and I began working providing storm repair services in the area quickly recouping some of the money lost and signed two new artist with the one in Nashville performing every night on Broadway. I would send my crews out in the morning and run around checking on them and collecting money, then at six at night head into Nashville to get my girls set up for their shows at the different clubs. I was doing good except that I was getting further away from God and He had plans for me to glorify Him, not myself. In November of 06 I woke up one morning unable to breath and could barely move. I called my landlord and she called the ambulance. I found myself at Vanderbilt Hospital for almost a week. Pneumonia had set in and caused a viral infection in my heart which had caused three minor heart attacks, which they would not have been able to detect except they had drawn blood during the last one finding the enzymes in my blood. Upon finally leaving the hospital I had lost four of my repair sub contracts and only had the little money coming in from the artist. I was ready to turn to God but I wasn't broken. I had met Cheryl online and she had come to meet me in Tennessee and had convinced me to come to Georgia for the holidays. While in the hospital my landlord had confiscated my television cameras because she didn't know how long I would be there. I had two crews plus myself living on her property, rent was split up weekly and one missed week was too much risk. I talked to her about coming here and when I got back I had two jobs waiting for me. She agreed and before I headed back after the first of the year I found out she had taken and sold the rest of my equipment to cover the missed rent. A week later Cheryl's oldest daughter came over and began a conversation about God and how the Bible couldn't be trusted. I began to search the scriptures to be able to prove her wrong, came under such conviction I surrendered my life back to Him. This time though He did not allow me to immediately be able to build a business. Oh He would provide enough to get by but no where close to what I had been used too. What He was doing was drawing me closer to Him. Slowly pruning away the dead branches and developing the character that He had created me with. We have seen God work in ways we never thought possible although others would look at them in negative ways. I now understand what John the Baptist meant when he said That he must decrease while Christ increased. I had walked away from my musicians in January 07 voiding their contracts and in August we had still not seen much of a change in business, still just enough to live but not get ahead or catch up when I received a call from my band in Texas. They were getting ready to sign a record deal and wanted me to be a part of it because I had supported them and had helped them get to that point. Instead of jumping on it I prayed and instantly was reminded that the majority of their music was not honoring God , but about sex and alcohol. I declined and gave the reason why. When God opened the door at Fieldale it was not in a glorious position but in one where I had to show my faith not just with words but in actions. As I witnessed changes in peoples attitudes God opened another door in another position where I had more time to share His words. As I share my testimony now to people who are focused on making money I am able to share how God has worked in my life. In sharing my faith he has brought me into contact with others who have been praying for Gods direction with a music ministry and with youth. Using music as a way to witness in the streets and working with youth. The very things that I have had a desire to do from the time I trusted Christ, He is now opening the doors for. My prayer is this. That through my testimony you would not wait until you are in the position I was in to be broken. I know God has been working on several hearts. It may be your pride that you refuse to let go of. It may be your selfishness or your unwillingness to surrender everything to Him and trust Him in everything. My ex-wife refused to glorify God in her life so He glorified Himself in her death. A hurricane was running up the Tampa Bay coastline. My mother, daughter and I had flown in from PA for the funeral and as our former pastor gave the message and invitation, 3 people trusted Christ, including the man she had left her second husband for. Through torrential rains and 60 mile an hour winds you could feel the hand of God at work. They had canceled the graveside service because of the weather yet after these three souls trusted Christ, we prepared to carry her casket to the hearse only to walk out the doors to find a completely different scene. There was not a cloud in the sky, there was no wind and no rain was falling in fact the ground had almost completely dried. I pray that it does not take either one of these things for you to finally surrender everything to Him. I lost twenty years of blessings and have much to give an account for, my ex-wife much more. How much will you have to lose before you surrender. Paul says in Philippians 3:7,8, which is my life verse. But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ. Stephen Tillia Baldwin, GA.